Title:
Creating "Intense Attraction" With A Man
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I'd like to tell you a story...
It's a story that you might find strangely familiar.
Don't be alarmed. Once upon a time, there was a woman who was very
attracted to a particular man.
At first, he was just another attractive man...
but the more she got to know him, the more she began
to feel attracted to him... and the more time she spent
with him, the more that attraction grew into a deep
emotional attachment and affection for him.
But there was one problem. As her emotional attachment grew stronger and
stronger, she also grew more and more insecure. Why? Because she couldn't tell whether or not he felt
the same way towards her.
Sometimes he would talk to her and say things
that led her to believe that they shared a special
connection, but nothing ever progressed past the
“friendship” stage.
There was an occasional glance, an occasional
email or call from him... and a few times, he even
opened up about something personal or emotional,
and invited her “inside” for a little while.
But something was wrong with the picture. He just wasn't acting like a man who was “falling
in love”. He was acting like a friend, but at times,
even more distant than a friend would be.
And things seemed to be hot and cold. Sometimes
he would look at her and talk to her, and sometimes
he would ignore her and close himself off.
The insecurity that she felt from all this, became
a spiral that amplified itself... and the more insecure
she became, the more afraid she grew of “screwing
things up” or “scaring him off”, by starting
conversations or asking him if he was interested in
her and why he didn't ask her out.
Plus, the more insecure she became, the less time
he seemed to want to spend with her.
After spending days and nights obsessing over this
guy, the woman finally arrived at the conclusion that
if he only knew how SHE FELT, that he would feel the
same way. So she made a bold move. She TOLD HIM how she felt. She confessed her feelings and let him
know that she wanted to be with him.
He responded by flirting with her and he
spent some time alone with her, and they even kissed
and held each other. But soon after, he quickly withdrew, didn't call
her and wasn't really “available” to her. This only confused the woman more. She didn't know how to take it... Did it mean that he really loved her too, but
that he was afraid of something?
Did it mean that he wasn't ready for a long-term
relationship? Did it mean that he didn't love her, and that
he was trying to give her a hint? Did it mean that she hadn't tried hard enough? Did it mean that she needed to put everything on
the line and REALLY let him know how she felt?
She finally decided that she couldn't go on like
this anymore... she had to be with him. She had to make sure that he knew just how much
she wanted to be with him... so she took a big step,
bought him a symbolic gift and wrote him a letter...
again confessing her feelings.
And then, something unthinkable happened. Either he didn't reply at all... (Ouch!) Or he replied and she connected with him on an
emotional and physical level for a brief time, but
then he backed away. Then she called him a couple of times, the following
week before reaching him.
He made an excuse about being very busy and said,
“I'll try to give you a call soon, I have to go”...
and hung up... but she never got a call back. Over the following months, the woman tried desperately
to understand what went wrong... and what happened.
THE END...
Now, wasn't that a sweet story? Heartwarming, huh? I know; I should keep my day job, and not take-up
writing romance novels...Now, let's talk about that story. That story is basically a MYTH. But I'm not talking about FICTION here. I'm talking about a story that rings true for lots
of women. A story that is timeless. A story that resonates
at a deep level, because you can IDENTIFY with it.
And why does this particular story resonate for
some women? Because lots of women have been there in one way or
another... at one time or another... and many have
been there OFTEN in their lives. Another thing that gives this particular story
a lot of power, is the powerful negative emotions
that it stirs... as a result of the powerful negative
experiences that it brings back...
Stories and situations like this one, really FASCINATE
me. They fascinate me, because I see them as an opportunity
to UNDERSTAND and SOLVE the puzzles that they represent.
In this particular situation, I think there is a
solution. It lies in understanding a SECRET that lots of
WOMEN DON'T GET. That secret comes down to the reality that if a
man isn't ATTRACTED to a woman, all of her attempts
to confess her love, convince him to like her and
court her, BACKFIRE.
In other words, they not only DON'T WORK; they
actually make things WORSE. In other words, the very things that a woman does
to try to make a man LIKE HER, make him NOT like her. They make him run. All of those great intentions and emotional dedication
actually cause the woman feeling them, to do things that
make the man go away. It sucks!
But it's a strangely common dynamic, that also takes
place inside dating situations and new relationships
without women (or men) really being aware of it, and
understanding what's going on. And I hope that by explaining the process of how
this happens to you, that I'll help you avoid this painful
situation in your own future...
And maybe you can start to understand what's going
on a little better, if you think about what it's like
when a man you're NOT attracted to, desperately wants
your attention, affection and your time. Have you ever had a guy pursue you? As he's trying to get your attention, approval and
affection, all of his pleading and effort just seems to
bug you more and make you want to get away.
Even if all he's doing, is telling you great things
about yourself and how he feels about you?
Strange and interesting...
Choices And The Paradox Of Attraction
I'm always fascinated by the idea that we humans don't always understand
the message that we're communicating to others. So often we think that
because we WANT to communicate a message, that others are going to
NATURALLY understand what we're trying to say.
Have you ever seen a woman who dresses over-the-top sexy and wears way
to much make-up? Have you ever thought to yourself, “I don't think that
her appearance is communicating the message to men that she thinks it
is”...?
Yeah, I have too.
Well, here's the deal:
If you do something to “let a man know how you feel” ... but he isn't
open to the situation at that time, or he isn't ATTRACTED to you, then
it's going to backfire. It's going to trigger a feeling for the man,
that I like to call the “Instant Ewww”. The “Instant Ewww” is just as
powerful as the physical and emotional response of ATTRACTION. Once a
man feels it, YOU'RE DONE. It's over.
It's like hammering a RAILROAD SPIKE into the coffin. Once a man feels
the “Instant Ewww”, he'll start behaving differently. In short, he'll
back off or even disappear. So where did I get the concept of the
“Instant Ewww”?
I got it from watching WOMEN.
I have actually heard SEVERAL women use the word “Ewww”, when describing
how they felt about a guy that was “confessing his love”... and of
course, these were guys that weren't loved in return by the woman.
Men do the same kind of thing with a woman they're not attracted to.
Often they try to be “nice” about it. They let the attention pump up
their ego a bit, and then they create what is often an unconscious
barrier in their mind, that closes off communication or contact with
her. And the resulting vacuum sound you hear, is what's happening as any
ATTRACTION and interest he might have felt, evaporates.
So what causes the “Instant Ewww”? And why would a man feel it, towards
a woman who was trying to be nice... a woman who was giving him
attention, a gift or telling him how she feels? Because if you think
about it from HIS perspective, you'll realize that the moment you do
something to “confess”, you've created a TURNING POINT in the
relationship.
Up until that point, you were harmless. I mean, men know when they are
getting some “special attention” from a woman. And they usually know it
from the beginning. But now that you've started pursuing him and talking
about how you feel, you've created a NEGATIVE TENSION that can be VERY
uncomfortable. You've triggered an emotion that can actually repel a man
and make him even more detached from his emotions.
Here's the thing...
You can't “make a man like you” or “change how he feels about you”, by
doing nice things for him. Doing “nice” things for a man who isn't
attracted to you, HURTS you. It backfires. Worse, it creates the
“Instant Ewww” feeling, that makes it so he'll perhaps NEVER like you.
Men are the worst at this, by the way. They make this mistake over and
over again in life, because they're doing what MAKES SENSE to them.
They're doing it, because they don't have an understanding of
ATTRACTION.
I mean, if you have a friend and you like them, and you want to make
them like you more... and you do some nice things for them, they will
probably like you more. On the other hand... If you have a man that you
“like” in a romantic way, and he doesn't “feel it” for you, and you do
something nice for him, because you want HIM to like you more, it will
BACKFIRE... and he will not only NOT like you more, but he will most
likely distance himself from you.
Women think that they need to communicate verbally when they like a
man... as if that's part of the necessary process of getting a guy. In
their minds, it goes like this:
Like him>Tell him you like him>He likes you
Well, remember... if you follow this pattern, yourself, with men who
aren't already ATTRACTED to you, then it's going to BACKFIRE. If he's
not into you, then it goes like THIS:
He thinks of you as a friend>You tell him you like him>He gets the
“Instant Ewwws” and withdraws...
THE ANSWER
There are really TWO answers to this problem. The first answer, is what
to do if you're in a situation where you like a particular guy, but you
don't know if he likes you back. DON'T GET HEAVY WITH HIM.
Don't buy him a big gift, do something nice to show him how much you
think about him or write him a love letter...
Don't send him a note to his work that says, “From your secret admirer”.
Don't call him several times, without hearing from him.
And DON'T CONFESS YOUR LOVE for him.
If you want to know how he feels about you, do something to ATTRACT HIM
and see how he reacts instead of telling him you love him and hearing
the crickets chirp as you wait for his response. As a rule of thumb,
don't get heavier than HIM. Use SIGNALS from him to find out how he
feels... and if you don't know how to read and create those signals,
then LEARN. Asking a man if he's interested in you in a romantic way, or
if you are “his type”, will actually DESTROY the chances that his
attraction and interest in you will grow.
Really.
The SECOND answer, is to not get into this particular situation in the
FIRST PLACE. Avoid it entirely. And how does one do that? One does that
by creating ATTRACTION from the beginning. One does that by
understanding the dynamics of how and why men have the physical and
emotional response of ATTRACTION triggered. One does that by knowing
what you're doing FROM THE BEGINNING. And what's the best way to learn
THAT skill?
I thought you'd never ask...
Well, I've written about attraction before and I'll write about it
again. In my eBook, I talk about some of the very best ways to learn how
to make man feel ATTRACTION for you. But above and beyond the meeting
and attracting men “stuff”, I also talk about how attraction,
communication, psychology and emotions all play into the longer term
“stuff” around dating, and creating a solid foundation for a future
relationship.
In my eBook, I go deep inside the mind of a man to tell you the secrets
and truths that lots of women will never know about. The eBook is called
“Catch Him And Keep Him”.
I've spent several years now, studying the ways that women (and men) who
are “naturals”, communicate using their words, voice tone and body
language. The way they integrate all these, makes them MAGNETIC to be
around. And you probably know what I'm talking about, if you know any
women who seem “lucky in love”. Where everything involving men seems to
come easily and effortlessly to them. And I'll tell you... it's not
magic. You don't have to be gorgeous or young. And you don't have to be
LUCKY. What you DO have to do is LEARN.
It's a skill, and I honestly believe that ANY woman can learn it if she
wants. But you're not likely to figure it out by “trial and error”. Many
of the keys to making men feel ATTRACTION and want to be around you for
the long-term aren't “obvious”, at all. In fact, many of them make no
sense... and they're the LAST thing you'd do in a particular situation,
if you didn't know the SECRETS.
Could it really be easy to create a lasting connection with a man
that goes far beyond “physical” attraction and sparks a deep emotional
bond inside him to where he feels literally addicted to being with
you, AND ONLY YOU, forever?
The Answer is “YES”… And if YOU want to eliminate all the insecurity
that can come from LOSING the guy you really want, and start
experiencing the love, attention, and respect you deserve from a man,
REGARDLESS Of his emotional hang-ups… then this will be the most
important and enlightening program that you’ll ever encounter.
Sadly, many women will go their entire lives without EVER experiencing
true love and connection with a man they care about. I don't want you
to be one of them. This program will show you EXACTLY how to find the
love you’ve been waiting your whole life to find and do it in a way
that will make you feel GOOD inside – because you'll know that you're
giving yourself and a man what you both REALLY want - an attractive,
happy, and “together” woman. I personally guarantee it.
You can make this dream a reality. Click on the link below to take the
first step:
By David DeAngelo,
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