Here's something that I've been noticing lately in the field that I
think has a lot of relevance.
Here's the scenario: you're talking to a girl and she'll all of a sudden
say something along the lines of, "If you do X, Y, Z, I'll leave." Like,
seemingly out of the blue.
I've seen it plenty. I used to think this was some sort of challenge to
my "alphaness" or something... like, if I did what she said, I'd be
supplicating and then I'd lose the girl.
What I've come to understand is that this was not, in actuality, some
kind of test. It was legitimate.
What it meant was that she was in state, and that ifyou said something
to break her state that she would come out of it and her social
conditioning to get the hell out of there would kick in.
This phenomenon is related to something we at RSD call "blueprints".
What blueprints are, basically, are a set of value calibrators and
emotional precursors that girls need to feel (usually related to value
calibrations in the interaction), in order to feel attraction.
This causes them to go into state, and makes them practically lose
control over themselves.
What happens when you SNAP the blueprint, is that they walk off.
This is why many of you who have been in the field a long time have had
experiences where you're cool with a girl for a few hours, and something
goes wrong and she walks off and doesn't care if she ever sees you
again. Like, she almost blocks you out of her reality.
It's kind of weird, and frustrating, but there are reasons for this.
For example, I remember being in Ibiza on the beach, and there is this
girl being a total brat. I was with her for about 6 hours at this point.
She's deeply in state, and saying things like "I saw this movie where
these teenagers had sex on the beach. I
don't think we should do that."
Now I haven't kissed her, or done anything other than hang out with her.
But you can feel her subconscious mind is saturated with sex. She's
trying to resist it because she just met me, but her emotions are
telling her to do it and they are taking over her logical mind.
Anyway, this girl is being a brat, and she tries to shove sand down my
throat. I grab a handful of sand to shove back at her, and she says "If
you do that, this is over".
Now most guys think "This is a test! Shove the sand down her throat like
she was trying to do to me."
No. Bad bad bad.
If you do that, she'll lose state because she is more concentrated on
the sand being down her throat than she is on what's happening between
you and her, and then she'll lose state.
Moreover, she may have done that to LOWER my value, in order to
calibrate things so that we can hook up. This is counter-intuitive, but
is related to female
psyche and social conditioning.
It's all blueprints.
That said, guys are very focused on girls "losing state" as if it's a
continual fire they have to keep fueling.
This is SORT OF true, but not really.
Because if your value is high enough, her mind is still working
overdrive to keep rapport with you, so laying back is not an issue.
For guys who do not have this social value though (yet), then they may
not be so easily able to lay back, because then the girl will just be
like "Umm, he's not that cool, and this has lost my interest, so I'm
going to chase the next shiny thing."
With blueprints, girls are evaluating behavior patterns (mainly value
calibrations), and deciding whether or not to hook up with you (or more
likely,
early on, just to talk to you, to giggle at you or not, to have big eyes
for you or not, to be focused on you or not, to touch you or not, etc
etc etc...).
So you might get attraction as soon as you say "Hey guys". They'll be
snapping their heads to talk to you, smiling, touching you, before you'd
even gone any further. For other girls, they might not even show
attraction for 2 or 3 minutes. But then they see something in your
behavior patterns that they like, and POW they have attraction.
The key is to stay composed AS IF YOU ARE NOT ANTICIPATING ATTRACTION
AND AS IF YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE, and to keep leading
the interaction until they crack and become contributive.
What that means is that you just keep leading the conversation, and
expect very little from her other than illusionary input where you
actually laid out her answer for her but just added it in as a way of
spinning the conversation.
A common way that guys blow it is that they expect fast attraction, and
then they lose their composure if they don't get it.
But the thing is that because of social conditioning, girls actually
pathologically deny the existence of what we call "indicators of
interest". Like, they'll say "I wasn't attracted to that guy", who they
showed major indicators of interest for.
That's why guys can screw up if they take a girl out for a "date" at a
club. The girl may chat other guys while she's there, and show
attraction, but the girl THINKS that you don't know what indicators of
interest look like.
So if you get all upset that she's chatting other guys, then she thinks
you're an idiot because in her mind all that she thinks you saw was her
just chatting, even though you saw a lot more because of your experience
in the game.
So the same goes for when you open, if you don't get attraction. You
just pretend like you don't realize it, and keep leading the interaction
until you get those indicators of interest.
In other words, you are the kind of guy who is confident and not SEEKING
interest, which most players aren't - which is natural because
they are more informed than the average guy.
But it's ironic that the average guy might actually get more success
because he's clueless and just assumes that all girls like him, and thus
stays in set longer and turns them around more gradually, like a nice
slow roast instead of a nuclear pressure cooker that burns the outside
of the turkey before the inside can even unthaw.
So what I'm talking about here is also related to a major difference in
the inner game of a guy like myself or my friends, and guys who are more
green to the game.
A guy who is good in field has integrated as a part of his belief system
that attraction is just generated by his behaviour patterns, and if the
girl isn't reacting properly he doesn't get all "Ohhhh I'm soooo sad" or
whatever.
He just keeps going.
Like, if a girl walks off on me, I'm not thinking, "Ooooohhh I'm such a
loser."
I'm thinking "If I follow her and start yelling funny stories at her,
can I engage a blueprint and make her stop and turn the set around".
That is why I will push every set HARD.
I am extremely persistent in set.
I calculate my sets with a formula like "I have 30 seconds until she
gets to her car while she's running away from me. Can I trigger a
blueprint in under 29 seconds??"
(note: I'M JOKING... um, sort of.. ahem - don't do this unless you know
what you're doing).
So for that reason, I'm not getting approach fear or my panties in a
knot if I have an off night. I still have off nights, and they are
usually dependent on how much I've slept and how crisp my voice is.
Also, my mood, which my energy levels
(including my voice) affect.
For the most part though, I can plow through it, and do decent, even if
its not amazing. Just so long as I'm cool with that when I go out, I
don't mind.
But if I go out with high expectations and I have a totally weak night,
then I'm disappointed.
Either way, these things will have a huge effect on my value
calibrations. Like, if I go out feeling kickass, I will communicate high
value.
But I'm not a state-dependent PUA either. Like, I'm not one of those
"I'm not in the mood" guys who would rather argue for 10 minutes over
why not to approach than to just go and crash and burn the set.
I'll still go in and just blow it, rather than sit there wondering what
will happen.
Those guys who tell me "They're not in the mood" make no sense to me
because its easier to just go in and blow the set than it is to argue
about it and talk about it for 10 minutes.
Anyway, points of this whole rant:
=> There are blueprints in female psyche.
=> Whether or not a girl likes you means NOTHING. Just barrel
through until she sees something she likes. Do this by leading the
conversation until she becomes contributive.
__________________________________________________
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